It’s been so long—I’m not sure where to begin. You see, I’ve been on a journey—not a journey to a place, but a different kind of journey. I didn’t know if I wanted to share this here; I, in fact, didn’t think I would (it seems so personal—and strangely, embarrassing), but I’ve been receiving little nudges and hints here and there that it might be the right thing to do. So here goes…
This past spring I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I always thought I had more control over my health—I kept my weight at a good place, exercised, ate healthy, took my vitamins, read constantly about staying healthy. I desperately didn’t want to get cancer like my parents and grandmothers. But alas, I’ve come to realize we are not really in control. Only God is in control and we must be thankful for each day He gives us, and learn to deal with what each day brings.
In early April I started chemotherapy. The past three months have been, at times, quite rough. There were days when the side effects of chemo were unbearable for me. It’s a strange feeling when there is nothing to help you feel better; when you feel like you cannot possibly make it through the day. I turned to prayer; I prayed with everything I had, and He was there to help me. I am still blown away at how I’d simply ask, and He would immediately be right there to help me through those horrible moments. I’d get through them; I don’t know how He did it, but somehow he did, I’d reach the other side. Most definitely, this diagnosis has humbled me and strengthened my relationship with God.
So, here I am four weeks since my last treatment and I am feeling great. My tumor was removed and tested; the cancer hadn’t spread at all which I am of course very, very grateful for. My grandmother has been my lighthouse of sorts whom I hope to take after. She was diagnosed at almost the same age as I was and lived a long life afterwards.
I am not totally done with all this. I still have another surgery in a couple of months (I found out my cancer was hereditary), but it’s preventative surgery, so no more chemo or radiation, only recovery from the surgery.
More than ever I now treasure each day, and each and every person who is a part of my life. Although it’s been slow going lately, I hope to continue creating and making.
I thank you for staying with me and reading my blog during these sparse creative months.